Moving to a new place, far away from your regular support group of loving family and friends and your familiar community is always a transition for any family. When we relocated recently, only three hours drive away from "home", the distance was just enough to keep us from commuting back and forth frequently. A new town, no friends, and feeling very nauseous with a new pregnancy, our family did the only thing we could; and we stayed home. All. The. Time. For several weeks. The few times we would go anywhere significant would be on Sundays when we would venture out looking for a new church community to plug into. We have since made big strides as far as reaching out and connecting, as we have started integrating in the Classical Conversations community (homeschooling families who aren't weird, by the way...), found a really awesome church that we all love, and have even met and made friends with a family who is expecting their seventh baby just before ours is due. So momentum has really picked up for us, not surprisingly, since this mama is feeling much more herself these days.

However, the days and weeks leading up to this fruitful season were hard. We didn't know then what God had planned. In fact, there were many times I would wonder if we had made a bad decision. But God has a purpose in all things, in all seasons. Not only did He know that "Spring" was coming for our family after about three months of harsh "Winter", but He used the season for the benefits that we don't usually think about that occur in the physical Winter.

See, our family had no choice but to do two things:

Draw closer to God, and listen ever more intently for His wisdom and direction and purpose for our family.

And two, draw closer to each other as a family.

These are huge blessings that we might have missed had we not spent this time in "hibernation". Of course it was hard and we missed our home and grieved the separation from our church, neighborhood, family and friends. We still miss them. But the focus that comes from being forced to "start over" in a sense is so valuable. When you're away from all things and people familiar, you're more able to hone in on the goals that God has placed in your heart. And spending all this time with our family, instead of at church, sports, or other activities, while all these are wonderful, has allowed us to pull together and bond like never before. So many times in the hustle and bustle of busy life before we moved here, I was guilty of forgetting to just sit and look at my children, to listen to them while they talked about nothing and random rambling. I forgot quite often, to notice how funny their silliness was and to laugh at their antics. And the laughter they bring me blesses me now more than ever. I am captivated by each of their personalities and adore each of our children so much.

I think that as parents, we get a special glimpse of just how much God loves us when we allow ourselves to think about how much we really love our kids. I would give my life for any one of them without batting an eyelash. And it's obvious He loves us that much too. But I am captivated by them, mesmerized by my children. My eyes dance with laughter as I watch them and observe them just being who they are. I want to hold them and sqeeze them and make sure they're safe and that they KNOW they're safe and loved. I want them to know that I care about every detail of their lives. I want them to know that I enjoy spending time with them and that they are magnificent creatures. And isn't that how God feels about us? I know that it is. He adores us and is indeed captivated by each one of His children.

And so, the unexpected silver lining of something I once thought so dreadful - being isolated from our familiar community - has been a lesson well-taught, again by a loving merciful Father. We're closer to Him and each other and we know where we're going more now than ever before. He is good. In the Spring. And in the Winter.

I am so relieved that 2009 is over and look forward to a wonderful 2010 with our growing family. Last week, we went in for our first sonogram and saw our tiny little baby (now 15 weeks gestation) growing wonderfully. In just a few short weeks, we will know whether our family will welcome another precious baby boy or girl. But for now, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness to see that the baby is developing well and that my body is cooperating with the amazing process yet again.

Other than the excitement and anticipation of our newest addition, the rest of the family is doing well. It seems all the boys have begun growth spurts all at the same time! They are each a joy to watch grow, develop and thrive!

We're gearing up to start our schooling again tomorrow after the two week holiday break. I have begun researching a new method of teaching the boys at home and will be attending a parent practicum for Classical Conversations, a Christan, Classical approach to teaching/learning, on Saturday. I am super excited because the boys will attend classes once a week with other students in their grade level, as we explore the lessons together at home, as well.

We found a wonderful church this morning and have plans to attend again next Sunday. The boys all had a blast and Dax and I enjoyed ourselves too. It seemed like there were a lot of young families there, so that excited us too!

We have so much to be thankful for. So many lessons were learned from 2009. To get a brief recap, see previous posts. God is faithful.

We're settling now, here in our new town, and finally reaching out and really beginning to make those crucial social connections. I recently joined a CSA (Community Shared Agriculture), and our family will reap the benefits of Johnson's Backyard Garden's (jbgorganic.com) fresh produce every week. I look forward to trying new vegetables and recipes in our family kitchen.

I just feel so blessed. We made it to another year, all of us together! We've truly embarked on a new adventure here in this Austin suburb, and it's been a journey to get here. We're trusting God to direct us here and guide our family in all of our decisions. Upcoming goals are pretty basic, just being obedient to God, drawing closer to Him as we lead our family, and allowing God to use us for His purpose. More particularly, we will be integrating more family bible study time, a new teaching approach, more writing time for mom, and more time in the garden for mom and the boys, exploring new recipes and healthy foods, working on our family website, connecting in our new church, and making some financial progess toward owning our own land and building our little house. May God bless us this year! And may God richly bless you and yours!

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3

(This story actually began in 2008, and lasted well into this year. More challenges and difficulties that our family faced happened after this section of story was written,including the death of my sweet grandmother, our departure from Life Fellowship, our church home for six years, and our relocation to another city in Texas, so you will not see them listed here. Currently, and not surprisingly, the last challenges of this year are now coming to a close as my extreme all day pregnancy sickness is coming to an end, just in time for Christmas.) I came across this word document by "accident' this morning and thought how appropriate it would be to share with you this snippet of our journey from this past year. God bless our family. God bless those of you who have journeyed with us. I am thankful that this year is drawing to a close. In many many ways, it has been the worst year of my entire life. In other ways, iit is one of the most important. And I thank Him for loving me enough to teach me, to hold me and to shape me into His child.

******

For many months, it seems it has been one scary thing after another. As most mothers will confess, the thought of losing one of my children is the most horrific thing I can think of. Not too long ago, I was listening to a program that was talking about how we often wonder why we go through the things we do and then later on in life, we often have those “oh, yeah….I see” type moments where it all makes sense and we understand the purpose. The illustration included David the shepherd boy and how he grew experienced in slaying wild animals with his bare hands and how this valuable survival skill was so significant later on when he freed a people from the tyranny of the evil giant Goliath by killing him with a single stone. While he certainly may not have enjoyed the practice of killing lions and bears to protect his sheep, I know that by exercising that “muscle”, he was better equipped when it came time to do what no one else dared to attempt – and save the people from the wicked tyrant. When I thought about this, it didn’t comfort me at all. I began to think about what kind of muscle I had been exercising for months with every instance of trauma that our family had experienced.

The season appears to have started just after the birth of our sixth son Levi. When he was just four days old, I began to really struggle with the fear of losing one of my children when we thought that Drew, just two years old, had swallowed a lethal amount of iron tablets. Our fears subsided when bloodwork at the ER was negative for any undesirable amounts. A couple of weeks later, our 5 year old developed a massive cyst in his groin and was almost unable to walk. It happened almost overnight and was unbearable for him. Waiting for the lab results from his surgery to tell us what the cause of the cyst were some of the longest days of my life. It was MRSA and now we had a whole new set of worries. He recovered from surgery quickly and we breathed a sigh of relief, but still uncertain as to whether or not he or any others were colonized with the staph. When our baby was three months old, he experienced what was diagnosed as an ALTE – an apparent life threatening episode, when I picked him up out of his crib blue and barely breathing. The reflux related incident prompted only natural instincts to keep constant vigil over this baby – round the clock – and I did very little sleeping for weeks afterward. Around the same time, we had worried about several lumps on another son’s neck, which turned out to be benign, swollen lymph nodes. Another son had to have an abdominal ultrasound due to unexplained horrible cramping that would show up intermittently - again, lab results negative for anything abnormal. One son was pulled out of the swimming pool, as we saw him just in time to save him from drowning. And finally, Drew’s seizure seemed to finish us off. Imagine the terror of seeing your toddler son seize on the floor while you watch helplessly and yell for everyone else to get into the car so you can go back to the ER for the fifth time in 8 months! All six of our sons had sounded alarms within weeks of each other, enough to send any mother into a state of exhaustion/panic/oblivion. It’s been enough to make us question and wonder. It’s been enough to take us down to raw. And we have had no choice but to grow closer to our Creator God.

One experience that truly gave perspective to enduring Drew’s seizure, was that just before that, I had had a near death experience myself. In a strange twist of events, I developed MRSA myself in my right breast while breastfeeding. The MRSA entered my bloodstream and I developed Toxic Shock Syndrome, which nearly ended my life. In the days that I lay in bed, unable to get up and care for my children, nurse my baby or be functional at all, I was forced to reckon with the thoughts of losing my own life, and more horrifying, the thought of leaving my children motherless. I began to toss around in my head just what my husband would do for a wife – who I knew in our circle of friends that would serve him and our six boys well….who could love them like I could???? And the answer would leave me in tears, and praying to God that He would spare me and allow me to continue to live so that I could serve them and be there to watch my kids grow up. The days were long and I will never forget the walk from the car into Texas Oncology office and how I had to hang onto my husband for physical strength to even make it into the building. I remember sitting in the chair and being harassed by the glaring sign on the receptionist’s glass – Texas Oncology – and wondering if the fate of my life would be like the other women in the waiting room, who sat with bandanas wrapped around their bald heads from chemo treatments. I remember thinking about my mother and her cancer diagnosis at the age of 39 and thinking how smug I had been to be so confident that I would escape the wrath of such a terrible disease just because I had nursed six boys for over 60 months total. And the tears of relief that flowed when the surgeon exclaimed boldly, “this is NOT cancer!” Having survived such an illness, I am changed forever. Knowing that God is good, even when I am near death, has been a more valuable commodity than one could ever know. Being able to trust Him – to truly trust that His will is perfect – has been more important than ever in my life. I had so many people say along this journey, “wow! The faith you are going to have is going to be enormous!” And while most days, I would shake my head yes in agreement to that statement, there would be other days when I would question and wonder why this faith was so important, why it was so valuable. And it was through the journey that I came to find out.

There were days when I would get angry. The anger wouldn’t so much be directed at God, but more often the situation that I was going through. Why the sick kids? Why the constant catastrophe? Why so near death? Why so many days and weeks of misery and pleading for healing and seeing no relief? I would get so mad that all I could do was cry. I was reminded of the words, “Do not fret “ Psalm 37: 8 says, “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; Do not fret—it leads only to evil.” Reflecting on this passage, I came to know how true it was about fretting. To fret means to get upset, to start to lose control of your mind in worry, to become lost in fear. I came to realize that to allow my mind to fret meant to allow my mind to be tempted with evil thoughts – thoughts of distrust, thoughts of rebellion, thoughts of overwhelming fear.

As a follower of Christ, I have to say that I am at a major advantage when it comes to being in a crisis situation, because the times when I felt so isolated and hopeless were the times when I knew I had no choice but to call on Him for help. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” If you’ve ever watched someone “cast” their net or fishing reel while fishing, you know what the term means in the physical sense. There have been some days that I have had to “throw” it out there and wait. It’s come down to trust. I have had to learn that I have to wait on Him for His perfect timing, and while I may get tired of waiting, He is God and He is still good. I have had to learn to appreciate life when it’s good or when it’s bad, because He has shown me that it is more about the journey itself than our human perception of the quality of the journey.

Casting all my cares on Him has taught me what Proverbs 3:5 and 6 truly means. When you give it all to Him and truly trust Him with all your heart, you don’t have to worry any more. When you begin to reflect on Him and consider His ways in all you do, things take on a new perspective, a new purpose and you get a new understanding of God and how much He loves you. You begin to truly realize that even though He doesn’t always offer you the healing you desire, He still loves you more than you could ever possibly comprehend. You come to understand that even in your pain, and sometimes more than ever, you rest in the palm of His hand. So you trust Him, and your mind begins to know how to not worry, to not fear, to not fret.

There is an instance in the bible that talks about a time when Jesus was physically sick with worry. But it wasn’t a worry like any of our own. Jesus was sick with worry of a different kind, a love for God’s people. He didn’t worry for His own future. He didn’t worry about trying to add a single day to his own life, rather for the fate of unbelievers. He knew that life existed on a different level, that there was life eternal. He knew that though this world may never offer anything other than a life of ridicule and suffering, that there was eternal purpose in His own existence and that He had limited time to do the work He was put here to do. Jesus understood that this was the only thing in life worth worrying for. “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay his life down for his friends.”


In Matthew, Jesus taught, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” Not that human life isn’t so precious and important, but as a mother, you’re forced to reconcile your mind with the fact that it is a fleeting thing and is nothing to be guaranteed. But there is one thing that is not fleeting, as Jesus taught in the above scripture, a treasure in heaven. That treasure is the hope of eternal life in Christ Jesus and is to be shared with everyone. There is no greater treasure, nothing more important than a relationship with your Creator God, and to know that is to know that your purpose here is to extend that invitation to everyone you know. To understand this is to understand that your life circumstances, the good and the bad, are meant to be an instrument to point others in the direction of your saviour, Jesus. With this new paradigm, or way of thinking, you now have a unique understanding of God – a new loyalty, in a sense, that you would never have had if you didn’t experience the “test of faith” as your friends have called it. You now know that the true treasure is faith your Lord and you see the value in it, the beauty of it and you know how important it is, more than ever before. It wasn’t that you didn’t have faith in your God before, and it isn’t that He is needing to make sure you have more so that you can get through another tragedy. Sure, maybe it will come in handy for a later use, but more importantly, your new level of faith in God will result in one immeasurably good thing and that is FREEDOM.


“Who of you by worrying can add a single day to your life?” Matthew 6 :27 Imagine if you were able to live your life without fear of death or someone in your life dying? Can you imagine for a moment the freedom, the lightness of heart you would feel, the enormous release of joyous energy that would emerge? Do you think that you could wake up every morning more equipped to face the day, not consumed or plagued by worry and concern over what could or might happen? Yes, it would be great if we could all get God to promise us a life without the possibility of death and dying, but that’s not how He planned it. Life includes death. Instead, He HAS promised a life more abundantly (John 10:10). He HAS taught us to trust Him, to cast all our cares on Him. There is nothing I can do, especially through worrying, to add a single hour to my life or the lives of those I love. So it is a waste of my time and God’s time for me to do so. That doesn’t mean I am not concerned and stop trying to be a good steward of all that He has entrusted me with. It just means that I don’t have to fear, that as long as I acknowledge Him in all my ways, He will direct my path.
Think on these things
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. It’s one thing to say and another to do, but with the steady renewing of one’s mind, it is entirely possible to train oneself to “think on these things’ versus living a life of fear. Fear is the opposite of faith and the point of faith is to live a life of freedom in Christ. If you want to live a life of freedom from worry and fear, it is worth the effort to “think on these things”. Some days, all you will be able to think of that is praiseworthy will be Jesus and that will be enough!


So many days in my journey, I just couldn’t understand, and Proverbs 3: 5,6 came to have all new meaning. “If you can’t understand, then don’t try…..I have this all figured out for you. Trust me. I will take care of you. I’ve got you. Rest in me…..” – was more what it came to mean.

Jeremiah 29:11 –He knows the plans He has for me…..He’s God and I am not and He is good…..He is good and His mercy endures forever…..He never said He would not allow suffering for His children….even Jesus suffered the most tremendous pain…..Jesus prayed, “take this cup from me”…..this is how we must pray – “Father, if it pleases YOU, if it is YOUR will, then take this cup from me, and if it is not, then help me….reveal your glory through me….” The prerequisite course to this prayer was in Jesus’ lesson to his disciples on how to pray when He taught them: “when we pray, we pray Our Father who are in Heaven, Holy is your Name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” And this is the very essence of living in His glory – praying His will and being submissive to it, accepting and abiding by His will and only His will, right here on earth as He intended for us in Heaven. There is so much peace in knowing that you’ve prayed that, surrendered to it and you’ve left it all up to your Creator God to handle. After all, He breathed the very universe into existence. Who better to know what is best for our (His) children than Him?

I feel like I should apologize before I even say anything, but I am not going to. Because what I am about to say is truth. It is every person's responsibility to do what they are called to do and that is for them to decide. I know what's been etched upon my heart and upon the heart of my husband.

The following two articles have come across my computer screen as suggested reading material by two very good friends in recent weeks. A contemplative, I am unable to simply read and go on without reflecting on the colossal dicotomy presented by the differing views offered by each author. And as a writer myself, once my children are off to bed, I am forced to neglect mundane household duties and all t.v. watching until the buzz in my head is relieved by the rapid pounding of the keys at the computer.

There is a paradox begging for recognition here and it has been the tug of war in my heart lately:

We live in complicated, busy, immediate gratification, drive-thru "we won't make it til you order it", microwave America, 2009. And life is tough, especially once you're considered an already "large" family. (which by the way, "large" is an adjective that Americans have assigned to any household with more than 2 or 3 children, so the fact that we have six boys makes us quite the show!)

vs.

Trusting God that He is the ultimate giver of life, ultimate provider.....

I've had some long hard conversations lately concerning this dilemma. And why is it a dilemma, do we dare ask? Why IS IT a dilemma? Because we were born here. Birth control was already being used by the time you and I were born, so it is engrained culture. We haven't known any other way. I wonder how many people have decided to have three children because that's just what people do...? That's what we said we were going to do.....heehee. But something happened for us. We had the three and knew we weren't done. (And I hate how we use the word "done", like our fertility is a freakin' cake or something!) And it hasn't changed yet. Every time after one of our children is born, I still know, I still have that deep, gut feeling that there are more to come, and that feeling of "wow, I can't wait to experience that again someday!" This is where I come screaming and yelling into the room of the first writer's desk........."what?" I ask. "You want to tell me that I want more children because I am a "bumpaholic!?!" Oh.....my. Well, the point of this is not to attack the lady who wrote this, but to point out the paradox (or two opposing paradigms) at work in the American culture, and ultimately in the Ferguson household.

Yes, there is a huge number of Christian mothers and fathers who are deciding to join the Quiverful movement (people who are open to having as many children as God blesses them with). I struggle a bit to not be offended by people's lack of understanding of this decision. But on the flip side of that, I used to think people like the Duggar famiy were crazy too. The second article points out all the reasons why we SHOULD welcome children from God and also, the reasons why we SHOULD NOT prevent them. While I am so much further on the extreme, siding with the second author, there is something that ties the two articles together for me and it is another set of questions, this time for each of them: What if I am NOT a bumpaholic and having babies to fill some void in my life, but rather see children as what they are - gifts from God? And what if, kind sir, I do so agree with what you're saying but I already have 4 in soccer, 3 in baseball, medical bills, and am just plain struggling to keep my head up? This is the paradox.


(read articles here and see my additional comments below....)
*******************************************************************************
The Belly-Rubbing High
Thanks to the influx of feel-good hormones and fawning from friends, family, and perfect strangers, having a baby can make you feel like a superstar. The problem: for some women, wanting to recapture that adoration pushes them to procreate again...and again.
By Martha Brockenbrough - Women's Health Magazine

IT'S NOT JUST IN YOUR HEAD. THERE REALLY IS A BUMPER CROP OF BABY BUMPS OUT THERE, FROM THE FAMOUSLY FERTILE, LIKE HEIDI KLUM, WHO'S FLIRTING WITH HER FOURTH SET OF STRETCH MARKS IN FIVE YEARS, TO THE INFAMOUS NADYA "OCTOMOM" SULEMAN, WHO EARLIER THIS YEAR BORE EIGHT BABIES AT ONCE EVEN THOUGH SHE ALREADY HAD SIX OTHER KIDS AT HOME THAT SHE COULD BARELY AFFORD TO TAKE CARE OF.

IN 2007 ALONE, AMERICAN WOMEN BIRTHED MORE THAN 4.3 MILLION BABIES—THE HIGHEST NUMBER EVER. MORE THAN A QUARTER OF THOSE WERE TO WOMEN HAVING THEIR THIRD OR FOURTH CHILD, ACCORDING TO THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION. AND DESPITE THE INFERTILITY FREAK-OUT THE ENTIRE COUNTRY SEEMS TO BE CURRENTLY ENGAGED IN, ONLY A SMALL NUMBER OF THESE BABIES—PERHAPS 100,000—RESULTED FROM MEDICAL INTERVENTIONS SUCH AS IN VITRO FERTILIZATION, SAYS JAMIE GRIFO, M. D., PH. D., DIRECTOR OF THE DIVISION OF REPRODUCTIVE ENDOCRINOLOGY AT THE NYU SCHOOL OF MEDICINE.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE'RE TRANSFORMING INTO A NATION OF DUGGARS (THE ARKANSAS FAMILY WITH 18 KIDS OFTEN SEEN ANNOUNCING THEIR LATEST CONCEPTION ON NBC'S TODAY SHOW) AND NOVOGRATZES (THE NEW YORK CITY CLAN OF SEVEN KIDS SOON TO BE THE FOCUS OF A NEW BRAVO REALITY SHOW)—THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF CHILDREN PER AMERICAN FAMILY IS STILL HOVERING RIGHT AROUND TWO.

STILL, CERTAIN MOTHERS, LIKE 31-YEAR-OLD MEAGAN FRANCIS, WHO IS RAISING HER FLOCK OF FIVE IN MICHIGAN, HAVE BIG BROODS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE USED TO. "I GREW UP IN A RELATIVELY LARGE FAMILY AND ALWAYS LOVED HAVING LOTS OF PEOPLE AROUND," SHE SAYS. "SO IT'S NATURAL THAT I'D TRY TO RE-CREATE THAT EXPERIENCE WITH MY OWN FAMILY."

BUT IT'S NOT ALWAYS QUITE SO SIMPLE, PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY. SOME WOMEN MAY LIKE BEING PREGNANT A LITTLE TOO MUCH, OFTEN DRIVEN TO RAPIDLY REPRODUCE OUT OF INSECURITY, A CRAVING FOR ATTENTION, OR FEELINGS OF ABANDONMENT BY THEIR OWN PARENTS.

THE HIGH OF PREGNANCY
HAVING BABIES ISN'T ADDICTIVE IN THE WAY THAT ALCOHOL AND NARCOTICS CAN BE. BUT BUMPAHOLICS FEEL COMPELLED TO PROCREATE FOR MANY OF THE SAME REASONS THAT SUBSTANCE ABUSERS TURN TO BOOZE OR DRUGS.

"WOMEN WHO ARE OBSESSED WITH BEING PREGNANT ARE LITERALLY FILLING AN EMPTINESS INSIDE OF THEM, JUST AS ALCOHOLICS AND DRUG ADDICTS USE SUBSTANCES TO FILL A PSYCHOLOGICAL VOID," SAYS BEVERLY HILLS PSYCHIATRIST CAROLE LIEBERMAN, M. D. EVERY ONE OF US AT SOME POINT ENCOUNTERS THIS VOID, ADDS NEW YORK FAMILY THERAPIST BONNIE EAKER WEIL, PH. D., AUTHOR OF FINANCIAL INFIDELITY. "YOU WANT TO HAVE A PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD. YOU WANT TO FEEL LESS LONELY."

FOR SOME WOMEN, BABIES FILL THAT GAP PERFECTLY. INFANTS ARE DEPENDENT CREATURES. THEY CAN GIVE THEIR MOTHERS A CLEAR IDENTITY; THEY CAN ALSO BECOME HANDY SOCIAL BUFFERS. AT A PARTY OR ON THE PLAYGROUND, A WOMAN STRUGGLING WITH FEELINGS OF SOCIAL ANXIETY OR SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS CAN HIDE BEHIND THE ADORABLE INFANT IN HER ARMS. ANY PRESSURE TO BE CUTE OR CHARMING OR FUNNY DISAPPEARS— YOUR BABY HAS THAT COVERED. "BUMPAHOLICS BREED TO BLOT OUT THEIR FEELINGS OF INSECURITY," WEIL SAYS.

BOSTON PSYCHIATRIST AND FOX NEWS CONSULTANT KEITH ABLOW, M. D., SAYS SOME WOMEN SEEM TO VIEW HAVING MORE CHILDREN AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO ADDRESSING THEIR OWN PERSONAL PROBLEMS. "BEARING ANOTHER CHILD CAN SOMETIMES PROVIDE A SUBSTITUTE FOR DECIDING ON A CAREER PATH, MAKING A MARRIAGE WORK, OR EVEN WRESTLING WITH QUESTIONS OF SELF-WORTH," ABLOW SAYS.

AND THE BABY FIX CAN BECOME A CYCLE. WHEN AN INFANT BECOMES A MORE INDEPENDENT TODDLER, "THE MOM MAY FEEL ABANDONED AND ACT QUICKLY TO FILL THE VOID AGAIN WITH A NEW BABY WHO WILL RELY UPON HER AND HER PARTNER AND DEFINE THEIR LIVES," LIEBERMAN SAYS.

PROCREATING ISN'T JUST A PSYCHOLOGICAL BALM; IT ALSO FEEDS GENUINE PHYSICAL CRAVINGS. ACCORDING TO HELEN FISHER, PH. D., A PROFESSOR OF ANTHROPOLOGY AT RUTGERS UNIVERSITY, HUMANS DEVELOPED A SET OF THREE RELATED BRAIN SYSTEMS THAT ARE INTENDED TO PUSH THEM TOWARD PARENTHOOD: SEX DRIVE, HUNGER FOR THE ROMANTIC LOVE OF ONE PARTNER, AND A DESIRE FOR THE CALMNESS AND SECURITY OF ATTACHMENT.

MOTHER NATURE PRODS US BY MAKING SEX AND ITS AFTERMATH FEEL AMAZING. OXYTOCIN, THE SO-CALLED "CUDDLE" HORMONE THAT PROMOTES BONDING, FLOODS WOMEN'S BODIES DURING INTERCOURSE, PREGNANCY, CHILDBIRTH, AND BREASTFEEDING. "[PREGNANCY] IS LIKE A LOVE DRUG," WEIL SAYS. "A BABY-LOVE DRUG."

THEN THERE'S THE CONSTANT ATTENTION YOU GARNER FROM OTHERS WHEN YOU'RE BURSTING WITH CHILD. BUMPAHOLIC OR NOT, IT CAN BE PRETTY GREAT. BARB POMEROY, 42, OF LONGMONT, COLORADO, IS A MOTHER OF SIX GIRLS. SHE ADMITS THAT SHE REVELED IN THE QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS HER PREGNANCIES ELICITED FROM FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND EVEN COMPLETE STRANGERS. SHE ALSO LOVED THE COMPLIMENTS PEOPLE FED HER ABOUT HOW GOOD SHE LOOKED WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HER DAUGHTERS. EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT PLANNING TO HAVE ANY MORE CHILDREN, SHE MISSES THE HEIGHTENED INTEREST AND CONFIDENCE PREGNANCY OFTEN BRINGS. "THERE'S THIS FEELING OF BEING SPECIAL WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT," SHE SAYS. "I FEEL LIKE I BECOME ORDINARY AGAIN WHEN I'M NOT EXPECTING."

IT'S NOT HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHY: PEOPLE SMILE AT YOU, THROW YOU BABY SHOWERS, BUY YOU LOTS OF GIFTS. AND THE ROUNDER YOUR BELLY GETS, THE MORE SPACE YOU TAKE UP IN THE WORLD, AND THE MORE PEOPLE TAKE NOTICE OF YOU. IN MANY RESPECTS, YOU BECOME IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE.

SPOUSES AND PARTNERS DOTE ON YOU, GLADLY DELIVERING SOUP AT 10 A. M. OR ANTACIDS AT 11 P. M. "MY HUSBAND CONSTANTLY RUBBED AND CODDLED ME, AND I ATE IT ALL UP," SAYS LIZ BUSTAMANTE, A 39-YEAR-OLD FINANCIAL ADVISOR FROM FOREST HILLS, NEW YORK, WHO HAS ONE CHILD AND IS CURRENTLY PLANNING FOR THE NEXT. "AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, INSTEAD OF FEELING INSECURE ABOUT MY BODY, I WANTED TO RUN AROUND NAKED! I'D NEVER FELT SEXIER."

MAGAZINES CONDUCT CELEBRITY-BUMP WATCHES, AND NUDE MATERNITY PORTRAITS ARE BECOMING DE RIGUEUR FOR CELEBS AND CIVILIANS ALIKE. PREGNANCY LETS EVERY WOMAN BE A STAR IN HER OWN WORLD, AND THE REST OF US ARE ALL TOO HAPPY TO SHINE THE SPOTLIGHT. A PREGNANT WOMAN IS EXCITING BECAUSE THE CHILD SHE'S CARRYING REPRESENTS "THAT TIE TO THE FUTURE," SAYS HOLLY DONAHUE SINGH, A PH. D. CANDIDATE IN ANTHROPOLOGY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA WHO TEACHES A CLASS CALLED ANTHROPOLOGY AND REPRODUCTION: FERTILITY AND THE FUTURE.

THE BELLY-RUBBING HIGH HITS THE PREGNANT WOMAN AS WELL AS THE PEOPLE WHO SURROUND HER. THE EXPECTANT MOTHER GETS AN OXYTOCIN BLAST AND RUBS HER BELLY AS A WAY OF BONDING. ADMIRERS WHO RUB HER BELLY GET A HORMONE RUSH, TOO. "AS SOCIAL CREATURES, OUR BRAINS HAVE EVOLVED TO MAKE POSITIVE SOCIAL BEHAVIORS FEEL GOOD. TOUCH CAUSES THE RELEASE OF OXYTOCIN, AND THIS CAUSES THE RELEASE OF DOPAMINE IN REWARD REGIONS OF THE BRAIN," SAYS PAUL J. ZAK, DIRECTOR OF THE CENTER FOR NEUROECONOMICS STUDIES AT CLAREMONT GRADUATE UNIVERSITY

GIVEN ALL THE PSYCHOLOGICAL, PHYSICAL, AND SOCIAL REWARDS ASSOCIATED WITH PREGNANCY, IT'S NO SURPRISE THAT SO MANY WOMEN LIKE IT. BUT PLENTY OF COUPLES STOP AT ONE OR TWO CHILDREN, DESPITE THE FUNDAMENTAL DRIVE TO REPRODUCE. THIS IS BECAUSE WE CAN USE OUR HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO KEEP THOSE INSTINCTS IN CHECK, REMINDING OURSELVES THAT CHILDREN COST MONEY—ABOUT $950 A MONTH UNTIL THEY'RE 18—AND REQUIRE AN EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT OF TIME AND ENERGY.

THIS IS PRECISELY WHY THE BUMP-LOVING BUSTAMANTE SAYS SHE'LL STOP AT TWO. MUCH AS SHE LOVED HER PREGNANT BODY AND ADORES BEING A MOM, SHE WANTS TO ALLOW FOR SOME FINANCIAL FLEXIBILITY—CHILDCARE, BALLET LESSONS, SUMMER CAMP, AND COLLEGE TUITION ADD UP. HAVING SUFFICIENT FUNDS ISN'T A DEAL-BREAKER FOR EVERYONE, THOUGH. NAN MOONEY, A 39-YEAR-OLD SINGLE MOM, IS LIVING WITH HER PARENTS IN THEIR SEATTLE HOME BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO SUPPORT HERSELF AND HER SON. STILL, SHE DESPERATELY WANTS MORE KIDS. HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY CALL HER CRAZY, SHE SAYS, BUT "I KNEW ENOUGH PEOPLE GROWING UP WHO HAD PLENTY OF MONEY WHO WERE NOT NECESSARILY LOVED AND NOT NECESSARILY HAPPY. I DON'T THINK IT'S AN ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT TO RAISING WELL-ADJUSTED CHILDREN."

FIGURING OUT THE RIGHT NUMBER OF KIDS TO HAVE IS A PERSONAL DECISION, TO BE SURE. AND NOT ALL WOMEN WITH LOTS OF CHILDREN ARE BUMPAHOLICS. BUT AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR PREGNANCY-CRAVING MOTHERS TO ASK THEMSELVES IS WHY THEY WANT MORE CHILDREN, WEIL SAYS. ARE YOU HAVING THEM BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR HUSBAND? OR SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK? OR BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE ATTENTION? NADYA SULEMAN, FOR ONE, IS BLUNT ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE GOT PREGNANT TO FULFILL AN EMOTIONAL NEED. AS SHE REPORTEDLY TOLD ONE JOURNALIST, "I JUST LONGED FOR CERTAIN ATTACHMENTS WITH ANOTHER PERSON THAT I REALLY LACKED."

BUT PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY THERE ARE FAR BETTER WAYS OF MAKING MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS. IN ORDER TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, MARRIED MOMS NEED TO SPEND QUALITY TIME ALONE WITH THEIR HUSBANDS—WHETHER IT'S TAKING A VACATION WITHOUT THE BABY OR JUST GOING OUT TO DINNER TOGETHER ONCE A WEEK AND LEAVING THE KIDS WITH A SITTER. "WOMEN WHO FOCUS ON THEIR CHILDREN TO THE EXCLUSION OF EVERYTHING ELSE INEVITABLY FACE AN EMPTINESS WHEN THEIR KIDS GROW UP AND BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT," WEIL SAYS.

IF YOU DO FIND YOURSELF FEELING A VOID AS YOUR BUNDLE OF JOY BECOMES A TODDLER, "THAT'S A GOOD SIGN THAT IT'S TIME TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU," SAYS ANN PLESHETTE MURPHY, AUTHOR OF THE SEVEN STAGES OF MOTHERHOOD: LOVING YOUR LIFE WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND. "INVEST IN YOURSELF. THOUGH IT MAY NEVER BE AS SATISFYING AS WHAT WE GET FROM TAKING CARE OF OUR KIDS, IT'S IMPORTANT TO FEEL PROUD OF SOMETHING YOU DO OUTSIDE OF CHILD-REARING SO THAT YOU DON'T THINK OF YOURSELF AS 'ONLY A MOM.'"

"ME TIME" CAN INCLUDE BIG THINGS—LIKE GOING BACK TO WORK OR STARTING YOUR OWN BUSINESS FROM HOME—OR SMALL, DAILY EXPERIENCES THAT ENRICH YOUR LIFE, SUCH AS HEADING TO THE GYM OR JOINING YOUR GIRLFRIENDS FOR DINNER AND COCKTAILS. IT'S ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE A BALANCED LIFE THAT YOU CAN BE SURE THE INNER CALL FOR A NEW ADDITION TO YOUR FAMILY SHOULD BE ANSWERED.
*******************************************************************************

Brandy:

Obviously, my biggest PROBLEM with this person's perspective on children is her use of the word "problem" in regard to children. My second biggest problem is her philosophy that I, as a pregnant woman, just love being pregnant a "little too much". Indeed I do love being pregnant. It is a beautiful, magnificent, miraculous experience. I am amazed by the process every time. Only our Creator God could have planned out something as incredible as conception and birth. But addicted? This blows my mind. If I am a female, and I am married to a man that I love passionately, then the result is frutifulness. I desire to be all those things. God made those things good and pure and wonderful and desireable and I enjoy being the woman God created me to be. He meant for that to be that way. To say that I need to be pregnant because it is some sort of "psychological balm" is to completely misunderstand the beauty of a warm and loving marriage and family. The point she makes about needing to do things you enjoy is valid, but we're still shortchanged by her notion that it's because we don't want to "just be moms". God designed seasons - winter, spring, summer, fall - yep, He made 'em all. He also made seasons within our lives, like childhood, teen years, early adulthood, then marriage, fertile years when we bear children and then a time when we're not fertile anymore, then grandchildren. He sort of planned it all out ahead of time for us, so we don't have to worry about it. Yes, there will be a time when all of our children are grown and married and begin having families of their own and I have no worries of having insecurities about who I am when they leave. The greatest reward that I can possibly think of with my human mind is that each of our children grow to be the man or woman God created them to be. And it is a joy to get to watch each of them blossom into that more and more every day.




*****************************************************************************

IS AN ECONOMIC DOWNTURN A GOOD REASON TO STOP HAVING KIDS? Voddie Baucham Ministries
THURSDAY, JUNE 11, 2009



The news has not been encouraging lately. Between job losses, bankruptcies, and government takeovers, it is hard to be optimistic about the future from a financial standpoint. Even China appears more capitalistic than America these days (see here). As a result, many Americans are making very hard choices. There are even commercials on television depicting families sitting around the dinner table talking about difficult decisions they must make and dreams they must defer. My family and I have had similar discussions as I have had a few events cancelled on account of “the economy”. Things are indeed tough.

One of the overlooked consequences of the current economic downturn is the increasing number of people who have decided to forego having children. All over the western world people are deciding that now is not the time to get pregnant. As a result, the vasectomy industry is experiencing an economic boom. As evidence of this, there was a recent article in Bio-Medicine titled, “With the Economy Down, Vasectomy Rates Are Up.” The author notes that, “Doctors around the United States are reporting a sharp increase in the number of vasectomies performed since the economy soured last year.” The numbers are actually quite astonishing. One article reported more than a thirty percent increase in vasectomy rates in Canada. Things are even worse in some parts of the United States. The Bio-Medicine article reports:

Since November, Dr. Marc Goldstein, surgeon-in-chief of male reproductive medicine and surgery at the Cornell Institute for Reproductive Medicine in New York City, said his practice has seen about 48 percent more vasectomy consultations compared to the same time the previous year.

This is especially discouraging news in light of the already astonishingly low birthrates in the industrialized world (See: here, and here). Russia, for example, is expected to see their population cut in half (from 140 Million to 70 Million) between 2005 and 2050. As Michael Specter of the New York Times put it,

“Driven largely by prosperity and freedom, millions of women -- here and throughout the developed world -- are having fewer children than ever before. They stay in school longer, put more emphasis on work and marry later. As a result, birth rates in many countries are now in a rapid, sustained decline. Never before -- except in times of plague, war and deep economic depression -- have birth rates fallen so low, for so long.”

And that was 1998! Things have gotten progressively worse since then. Many European countries have already reached the “point of no return,” and are in danger of becoming Islamic Republics.

Unfortunately, most people view having children as a purely financial endeavor. This attitude was summed up well by Dr. Harry Fisch, a professor of clinical urology at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University Medical Center, in New York City, who said:

"The issue about kids is often a financial one, and, if finances are low, it makes sense that people would be less likely to have more kids. And if they're thinking about it, this is the time."

Interestingly, things have been good (from a financial perspective) over the past few decades, but birthrates were still in decline. Thus, the current problem is not one of healthy birthrates becoming unhealthy in light of the economic downturn. Instead, greedy materialistic people who already saw children as a burden when they were ‘filthy rich” (which includes Americans at the “poverty line” if you look at things from a global perspective) are now in a panic because they are slightly less rich. But what does the Bible have to say on the subject? Is an economic downturn, or a set of difficult circumstances a good enough reason to stop having children?

I do not believe that an economic downturn is a sufficient reason to prevent pregnancy. I base my argument on four key factors. First, children are a blessing. The Bible is clear on this issue:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” (Psalms 127:3-5 ESV)

I love the ESV translation of this passage. Here we see an important nuance in the Hebrew text. It is not the man whose quiver is filled that is blessed, but the man “who fills his quiver.” In other words, we should seek children. We should desire them.

Second, we are commanded to “be fruitful and multiply.” (Gen 1:28; 8:17; 9:1, 7; 35:11; Jer 23:3) One of the principle purposes of marriage is procreation. Of course, this goes beyond merely having children to actually bringing them up in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4) in an effort to spread the image of God (and the gospel) throughout the earth. As such, it is unthinkable for Christians to attempt to enjoy the benefits of marriage and avoid the responsibility of having and raising children to the glory of God. R. Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY said it better than most when he wrote:

Christians must recognize that... rebellion against parenthood represents nothing less than an absolute revolt against God's design. The Scripture points to barrenness as a great curse and children as a divine gift... Morally speaking, the epidemic in this regard has nothing to do with those married couples who desire children but are for any reason unable to have them, but instead in those who are fully capable of having children but reject this intrusion in their lifestyle.

Third, any decision to avoid pregnancy has to be based on biblical reasons, and a struggling economy is not one of them. While I do not believe that there are many instances where preventing pregnancy would be “biblical”, I do believe that there are some instances where one could make a strong biblical argument for doing so. For example, if a man’s wife breaks her pelvis in an automobile accident, I believe he would be quite wise in holding off any plans for a baby. I know there are some who have argued that it is “never biblical” to prevent pregnancy. However, I disagree. As a pastor, I would advise a man in the aforementioned situation not to impregnate his wife, and I would base that advice on Peter’s admonition to “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7 ESV). I believe this goes directly to a man’s role as protector in the home.

However, that is a far cry from the, “Things are really bad now” line of reasoning. Anyone wondering if the Bible gives any hint as to whether or not God would advise his people to continue having children in the midst of bad economic, or political times need only look at Jeremiah’s letter to the exiles in Babylon. In the midst of conditions that make ours look like a day at the park, the Lord spoke through his prophet:

“Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease.” (Jeremiah 29:4-6 ESV)

I thank God that my ancestors who were slaves (by the way, that’s worse than an economic downturn) bore children in spite of their difficulties. Had they adopted today’s mindset, there would be no descendants of slaves alive in America today. We would all have been “prevented” in the name of “prudence”.

Fourth, if one has biblical reasons to avoid pregnancy (and this is almost never the case), the next step would be to employ biblical means in doing so. If a couple finds themselves in a situation where avoiding pregnancy becomes necessary, there are other issues to take into consideration. For example, birth control shots, I.U.D.’s, morning after pills, and many birth control pills, are actually abortifacients (they have the potential to cause early abortions when they fail at preventing pregnancy). As such, they should be avoided. Also, bodily mutilation (vasectomy, tubal ligation, etc.) is a serious and morally questionable alternative (1 Cor. 6:19). That leaves barrier methods (though this raises questions of “spilling the seed,” i.e., Gen. 38), and abstinence (which carries with it a whole other set of difficulties; 1 Cor. 7:1-5). In other words, such decisions are far from “cut-and-dry” for those attempting to think and act biblically in this area. We must search the Scriptures (I also recommend resources like Andreas Kostenberger’s book, God, Marriage and Family).

Unfortunately, most Christians never give such issues much thought. Very often we assume that since the practice of preventing pregnancy is so common, it must be biblical, prudent, and ethical. Moreover, most “Christian counselors” actually advise believers to prevent pregnancy in virtually any instance. For example, if they 1) are newly married, 2) already have two or three children, 3) have experienced “difficult pregnancies,” 4) had one or more deliveries via c-section, or 5) are in the midst of an economic “crisis” (i.e., can only afford one new car and a 2,000 sq. ft. house). If you don’t believe me, start listening to call-in “counseling” shows. I know this firsthand. Regrettably, my wife and I fell victim to such “counseling” after our second child was born. Suddenly, we had our girl and our boy (the perfect LITTLE family), and the all-too-common excuse of “difficult pregnancies,” (coupled with a Caesarian delivery) so it was time to shut it down. We hired a doctor to take his scalpel and suture, and tell God we no longer needed, wanted, or trusted him in that area of our lives. I talk about this dark episode in Family Driven Faith.

I believe the burden of proof is on those who wish to prevent pregnancy. Search the Scriptures to see if these things are true. We mustn’t simply assume that the old clichés are true. I know we’ve always heard that the responsible thing to do is prevent pregnancy until you are “ready” financially (and there are no complications, or sickness, or dreaded warnings from physicians), but what does the Bible say? And who’s ever “ready” for a baby? Moreover, who knows what the financial scene will look like nine months from now?

There’s another issue at play here. Many people who prevent pregnancy today and plan on just “getting back around to it” some other time are in danger of, “tempting the Lord their God.” (Matt 4:7; cf. Deut. 6:16) Getting pregnant is not a guarantee. There are plenty of people out there who cry themselves to sleep at night because they’ve been trying for years and God has not opened the womb. People who put pregnancy off until a “more appropriate time” need to bear this in mind. You don’t know when (or if) you will get pregnant. As such, it is quite presumptuous to put it off until you decide you’re ready. Remember, God is the author of life, and every child is a blessing. Besides, who’s going to fix our ethical, spiritual, economic, and political crisis in the next generation if those of us who know the answer (the gospel) shut it down and stop launching arrows simply because they may require a little financial sacrifice in the short run?

**************************************************************************
Brandy:

It really all boils down to one thing for me and my husband: DO WE TRUST GOD? If the hairs are standing up on the back of your neck, they should be. It's a bold question! It's a question that is not to be taken lightly. It's a question I have come to answer quietly, in the deepest recesses of my heart, with fear and trembling before an ENORMOUS and ALL POWERFUL God. In all humility, I can say that I have wrestled this question to the ground, tried to gag it and tie it up and stuff into a closet, only to go and retrieve it again and wrestle some more. It has been a dirty fight and I have come out bleeding on more than one occasion. To the lady who proposes that I want more kids because I'm a bumpaholic, I ask you this: Do you see me working my 14 hour days, day after day, cleaning, cooking, tending to the needs of a family of 8? Do you see me when I am all alone when I collapse on my bed at night and cry myself to sleep, hoping and praying that I am enough? Do you hear my heart beat, do you hear it's rhythm that chants...keep going, keep loving them and serving them, they will be servants of God....Does she hear me? Does she get me? Does she know that I know that the world might just think we're crazy but that we don't care? We don't care because we know that people with her opinions just don't understand. She doesn't understand where I am at because she hasn't journeyed with me to this place of trusting God with complete and total abandon. She was most likely born and raised here too. I get that. A quote from her, "T'S ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE A BALANCED LIFE THAT YOU CAN BE SURE THE INNER CALL FOR A NEW ADDITION TO YOUR FAMILY SHOULD BE ANSWERED." What does this mean, exactly? Her audacity.

As the second writer points out, there are many reasons why we choose to not have more children, finances and freedom being high on the list. And like I said earlier, it all boils down to one thing....trusting God. The bloodly brawl has been about these questions:

Do we trust Him with our finances?
Do we trust Him with our children's health?
Do we trust Him to provide a bigger house, car, and more stuff? (Don't forget here - we're spoiled Americans....)
Do we trust Him to give us a daughter? What if He doesn't? Do we stop if He doesn't? Do we stop if He does? Why does it matter?
Do we trust that we will both live to parent them?
Do we trust that our chlidren will grow into who He made them to be even if we are imperfect?
Do we trust HIm to to give us the energy and stamina to continue on as the load gets heavier?
DO WE WANT WHAT HE WANTS FOR US? DO WE DESIRE HIS WILL FOR US?

I'm tired of fighting. I relent, surrender....HE WINS. I trust Him. An echoing theme througout the past year of our lives has been, "I've got this all figured out - No need to worry. No matter how big the situation seems to you, I've got it under control. I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU." I don't know what is going to happen. I am not going to "plan" anything. I am getting a t-shirt made to wear every day to answer the dear strangers who ask, "so, are you going to try for a girl next?" It's all up to HIM, it will say.

I want to live by His plans. When I try to live by mine, I screw it all up.

I know it's not black and white for everyone. And I know that there are very very real reasons why some people should not have more and I am in no way attacking those people. I am talking about us here, and where this family intersects with two theories. Yes, I know God gives us wisdom. We can complicate it all we want, and like I said, I am really good at complicating things that aren't for ME to figure out. So, I won't.

Proverbs 3:5,6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths.

Happy Father's Day! I feel like one of the most blessed women, being married to my husband, who is the best dad to our six amazing sons. Today was beautiful. The boys each made a card for their dad, and instead of spending some of his money to buy him something he doesn't need, they each gave him a Father's Day coupon for neat little gifts like: washing his truck, one hour of silence, an uninterrupted nap, etc. He also received the World's Best Dad Award! I got them the recordable Jungle Book card to record their voices saying Happy Father's Day and all of their names......it just about cut off when it got to Levi....haha..

He's awesome. He is a man of integrity. A man who is honest and upright, who fears the Lord. My alltime favorite scripture, which reveals God's promise for a man who fears the Lord, is found in Psalm 128:

1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways.
2 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.
4 Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.
5 May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,
6 and may you live to see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel.

Ironically, our Pastor shared these verses within his sermon this morning in his instruction and encouragement to the fathers of our church. I'm thankful that I can say that this is true of my husband. My children are blessed to have him as their father. I am grateful to get to be that fruitful vine within his house.

The table's been cleared and he's relaxing now with a movie as I write this little note. After lunch, they ALL and I mean all six dogpiled him and wrestled for a good half hour. They don't know it just yet, but he's teaching each of them to be a man....and not just any man. He's not just teaching them to be hard workers like him, which is great. He's not just teaching them to be a family man, which is so important. He is teaching them by his every day example to love God, to fear Him and walk in His ways.

The Bible also says this and I believe it with all my heart: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." (3 John 1:4) The truth is found in Jesus alone. The truth sets you free. There is nothing we desire more as parents than for our children to know God, love God and obey God - to walk in His ways, to walk in the Truth.

I'm thankful. :)
Brandy